October 2005

GENTLEMEN! -- Posted by BalconyDive on Thursday, October 27 2005

I learned some stuff today

Thus ends the juvenile humor portion of your day.
3rd and about 3 for Chicago -- Posted by BalconyDive on Sunday, October 23 2005

I...can't stop playing Fire Pro Returns, or Fi-Pro Returns as GameFaqs has it listed. Not that I really want to or anything but man...every time I stop playing it I'm turning that sumbitch back on like 15 seconds later.

It's the hreatest Fire Pro game ever, which makes it the greatest Wrestling game ever, which makes it a front runner for greatest GAME ever without the words Legend and Zelda in the title.

There's just something about taking Keiji Mutoh in a cage (yes, cage. Like American style cage matches. They're in.) with Magnum TOKYO, brawling it out for 10-15 minutes then BAM! hitting a Shining Wizard and seeing the beautiful word CRITICAL appear on the screen.

Not only that but awesome people are HACKING THE DISC. Patches are coming out that do things like change the Japanses (text, not pictures sadly) to English. Patch 3 (the latest) changed all of the match related text to English, no more packets of text to set up a flourescent light death match. The guy who did it is working on 4 which will change all the wrestler names. All you have to do is rip your disc to an ISO, patch it with PPF-O-Matic and reburn it. It's sex. And they're not done. Other people are actually able to change wrestlers. By the time these kids are done it'll be a whole other game.

Man, I'm going to play. Curry Man V Vader V Muta. 3 way dance - 1 fall. I think I'll be Vader.
Don't quote me boy, I ain't said shit -- Posted by BalconyDive on Saturday, October 22 2005

There was other stuff here but now it's not. Suffice it to say I'm fucking sick of not having a job. I'm seriously starting to look at secretarial positions.

In PS2 news, final price was $143.05 and I mailed it today. Sweet, no? I can go pick up a computer mic and a copy of Liberty City Stories on Wednesday or so. When I do, I can come back with news that will BLOW YOUR MIND!
Both men down! They're down! They're down! What's going on! They're down! They're down! -- Posted by BalconyDive on Tuesday, October 18 2005

Can I predict them or can I predict them?

Current score:
Colts: 0
Rams: 17

What?



WHAT?

I'm going to do drugs and go to bed. Then do drugs. Then do drugs.
Having trouble trouble getting getting out of your brain -- Posted by BalconyDive on Monday, October 17 2005

Sweet, up to $96 on the thing with a couple days left and about 20 minutes away from an illegal copy of the new Fire Pro game. The Colts play on national TV tonight, then I can watch NWA:TNA. I got an email from a woman who said she was "impressed" by my resume and would be sending it up the chain to her boss.

If I didn't know better I would say this is a good day.

Any moment now I will suddenly...die probably. Or almost die and end up laying here in extreme pain paralyzed from the neck down watching the Colts get trounced through one eye and the download freeze at 99.9% with the other.

That pass was blocked. -- Posted by BalconyDive on Sunday, October 16 2005

Why wasn't I told? Why? Who decided to keep this from me?



There will be punishments handed out and they will be sever until I find a way to get this. Your bad people.

-- Posted by OtterVomit on Sunday, October 16 2005



MARTIN BRODEUR CAN GO TEND SOME GOATS

Following the New Joisey Devils humiliating loss to the surprisingly terrific New York Rangers, sister-in-law stalker and goaltender Martin Brodeur once again showed the general public his extreme lack of character. During the post game press conference Brodeur said "Well their goalie....what's his name again?" and smirked. He REPEATED this insult a day later on a metro-area sports show.

Bullshit. Martin Brodeur knows damned well who Henrick Lundqvist is. He knows this because this is not the first time Henrick Lundqvist has outplayed Brodeur and ruffled his feathers. During the lockout in the World Cup tournament, Lundqvist outplayed and defeated Brodeur. You see, Martin Brodeur knows Henrick Lundqvist is one of the best goalies in the world, and he can't stand it that Lundqvist is now on Broadway. Brodeur has never been able to bring himself to the level of congratulating other players when they outplay him. And conveniently for him, he's been on a Devils team where this was rarely an issue. Now the Devils blueline is barely adequate, and the new NHL rules won't allow clutching and grabbing. The result: Marty's getting shelled left and right and also whining to the NHL left and right. Last week Brodeur spoke out asking the NHL to try and keep players from getting so close to goalies. Someone please pass Mr. Brodeur a tissue, or perhaps set him on another date with Melanie's sister.

During last night's games, Henrick Lundqvist made 28 saves, allowing only 1 goal and had Madison Square Garden chanting his name. Mr. Brodeur on the other hand allowed 5 goals on 19 shots and was REMOVED from his game against the oh-so-deadly Carolina Hurricanes. Mr. Brodeur has now allowed 4 or more goals in 3 of 5 games.

But if Mr. Brodeur really can't remember Lundqvist's name then I can produce one that he definitely DOES remember:

MATTEAU!! MATTEAU!! MATTEAU!!!
Every day I love her just a little bit more -- Posted by BalconyDive on Saturday, October 15 2005


From: Terry Cole (tcolly109@freedom.usa.com)
To: Me

Thanks for your reply, am ready to offer you $250.00. Actually, i am confused presently because i have recieved a lot of offers from different sellers having thesame item with you which i dont know what to do as at now. Anyway, i think i have made up my mind on dealing with you and i will appreciate it if we can deal on trust and transperency.

I will be going to the bank to make your payment with postal money order (western union auction payments) and as soon as my payment is approved by the bank, they will contact you through your email address and update you on payment status if the payment is approved or denied. I would have loved to pay with paypal but, i cant afford to be burnt twice, visit this site and you would understand better
(www.paypalsucks.com).

I will be paying all the shipping cost of the item to destination which you dont have to pay a dime. I am buying the item for my son who his celebrating is birthday in west-africa, to this end, as soon as you have been notified by the bank that, my payment as been approved, i will like to have the item shipped, cos once payment is approved, a tracking number will be sent to you which will allow you to track the payment to your address online.

If this is okay by you, let me have your full name and address as it will be written on the money order so that, i can proceed with the payment immediately.

I will be waiting to hear from you soonest.



From: Me
To: Terry Cole (tcolly109@freedom.usa.com)

I'm not saying I don't trust you...but I can't think of a way to finish that sentence. I'm not shipping anything to Nigeria (or anywhere outside of the Americas for that matter) nor am I going to deal with fake Western Unions with email addresses from usa.com.

You're kind of an asshole aren't you?


I hate humanity.
I just got an email from DR. UBUGU of Chad. -- Posted by BalconyDive on Friday, October 14 2005

Dear Seller, I am a medical Doctor from Randallstown, Md in the US.I would need your item for my brother's son overthere in Nigeria.I will like to know the present working conditions of the item.Does it have it's accessories in it's box.I will be offering $450 US dollars for the item including shipping via United States Postal Service(USPS) down here. I will be making payment via Bidpay Money Order which is only payable in the US.I can increase my offer if the offer is not enough.I need this item urgently so i would be expecting a quick respose from you. Please reply with your email address where i could contact you to. Regards, Dr charles.


Relentless.
You could die, your baby could die! -- Posted by BalconyDive on Friday, October 14 2005

You have got to be fucking kidding me. I put on the auction that I'm willing to sell the PS2 to America, Canada or Mexico only. Someone contacts me, offers me $130 to sell it early, I say cool. They Western Union me the money. Fucking they're from Nigeria and the Western Union shit if from Usa.com. SCAMMED! Bullshit. I hate people.

Things back on eBay for $80. Here's hoping Sony doesn't announce the $99 price cut before it sells.
It's Bart's moon party from outer space! -- Posted by BalconyDive on Thursday, October 13 2005

Sold the PS2 for $130 just moments ago. How cool is that?
I call it Caribbean Drāno... -- Posted by BalconyDive on Thursday, October 13 2005

I won a PS2 forever ago and it's just now getting here. Talk about speedy response time. I called up GameStop to see what they'd give to me for it in trade, but since the damnable XBox360 is coming out next month they're only willing to pay $85 for it. How weak is that? Oh, they still charge over $100 for them, and it's still sealed in the factory box, but that's all they give for them. So I went ahead and put it on eBay. I started it at $80, that way even if it doesn't sell I don't lose that much (insertion fees). Should it not sell I guess I can take it to GameStop and trade it in for a copy of Liberty City Stories. If it does sell for the average sale price of $140 I can also get The Con, which looks like the total badass fighting game of the year. Don't you want to buy it from me? Don't you?

In other news, look at the baby!
-- Posted by OtterVomit on Wednesday, October 12 2005

ATTENTION RANGERS MANAGEMENT:
-- Posted by OtterVomit on Sunday, October 9 2005

MESSIER DISCUSSES REASONS FOR RETIREMENT

Ranger God Mark Messier made his first extended public statement since announcing his retirement Sept. 12, and said that sadly he couldn't summon that famous will to win for another season.

``A big part of me felt like I had had enough, achieved as much as I could achieve and I didn't feel there was a lot more for me to play for,'' the 44-year-old Messier said during an interview aired Saturday on CBC's ``Hockey Night in Canada.''

``When I did play the most important thing for me was to win. And maybe winning just wasn't as important as it once was and I think once I really came to terms with that, that was kind of the deciding factor for me.''

The Captain said his edge was sapped by his four final years with the New York Rangers, when the team struggled each season and failed to make the playoffs.

``It was bitterly disappointing the way the last four years went,'' he said.

Messier announced his retirement in a brief conference call with the media. He said he wanted to make a quiet exit from the NHL because he didn't want a public display of emotion at a time when Hurricane Katrina was devastating the southeastern United States

``I didn't really think it was the right time to make a public display of Mark Messier retiring while all the suffering and things that were going down there were at the same time,'' he said.
We've got to go back...TO THE FUTURE -- Posted by BalconyDive on Wednesday, October 5 2005

Today was weird, man.

I had an interview at some place, I thought it was a law firm, but no. Turned out that it didn't matter where it was because I never got there and now can't find the phone number to even tell them why. Here is the story of my day:

Myself, the kid, and little Jacob got into the car and headed for Merrilville, Indiana. I had an appointment at some place at 9:30.

So through Indiana we roll, Jacob fast asleep and the kid seeming a bit tired. We get into Merrilville and there's Broadway, the street we're supposed to be turning on. Apparently the kid didn't realize it was coming and...for some reason...tried to make a right turn from the center(ish) lane. Right in front of a truck. You can see where this is going. I guess the truck driver did too as he slammed on his brakes as he hit the back passenger side of the car.

Everyone was fine, hell little Jacob didn't even wake up, but we did have to spend almost 45 minutes with the cops just kinda sitting around. Luckily the truck was fine and the car only has a smallish dent in it.

When we finally did get going we couldn't find the place I was supposed to interview at. Well, kinda. See we rolled into some place and I went in and asked for Yvonne only to find out there is no Yvonne there. The people there took pity on me and went around HR looking for anyone who had a 9:30 appointment that was missed, but to no avail.

To add horribleness to jackassery I now can't find the number of the place so I look like a horrible person in their eyes. No job for bd!

To make up for that I've taken enough darvocet to put a small horse into a coma and I'm watching the last two discs of ALF Season 2.

I will never find a job.
-- Posted by OtterVomit on Sunday, October 2 2005

DALE PURINTON IS A WORTHLESS TUB OF SHIT

Despite the deplorable condition of the New York Rangers franchise and its continued failure for the past 7 seasons (and to be truthful many seasons before that save 1 glorious one), there have only been very rare occasions when I have been ashamed of this team.

Tonight is one of those occasions.

I'll get right to the reason for this: In the third period of tonight's preseason (see: meaningless) game with the Boston Bruins, Purinton tried to gouge out Bruin tough guy Colton Orr's eye with his thumb. The two had tied up for a fight when, before any punch could be thrown, Purinton jams his thumb in Orr's eye, injuring him. Orr's eye looked awful and continued to swell until the game's end according to press accounts. I can only hope that Colton Orr is ok and suffers no long-term effects as a result of Purinton's boneheaded play. Purinton was ejected from the game with a match penalty, and will be suspended. In addition I hope he is either sent to Hartford (they don't want him either) or cut entirely. It is tough to put into words how poor of a hockey player he is, but I will certainly give it a shot. Dale Purinton is one of the worst players I have ever seen pull on an NHL sweater in the first place, and has proven time and time again that not only does he have no place in this league or on this team, but he has no place in pro hockey.

And maybe I could overlook it if he didn't have a track record of this sort of horseshit. This is a guy who was kicked out of the fucking ECHL during the lockout for ending a player's career with his cheapshot shit. He regularly cheapshots other players and then turtles or wrestles with the true heavyweight fighters in the NHL....if he doesn't deal with them like he did the unfortunate Mr. Orr.

Get off my team, Dale. You can't skate, can't hit, can't score, can't fight and you are not a Ranger to be proud of. Head on over to the Flyers, or shack up with Todd Bertuzzi. You have not only disgraced the Rangers over the years, but the game itself.

LEAGUE OF DOOM POSSIBLITIES

I have been thinking maybe the League of Doom will be reorganized into a Yahoo keeper league, where we do our drafting offline and whatnot. Not quite sure of how it would all work out yet though but I'm seriously considering it.
Can you dig it? Can you dit it? Caaaan yooou diiig iiiiiiit? -- Posted by BalconyDive on Sunday, October 2 2005

Stuffs:

After two days of sitting here answering the phone and getting updates of "nothing yet" I am now an uncle, and that is cool. I intend to teach this kid dirty words, all about video games and why The Legend Of Zelda is the greatest thing EVER, infect him with the disease that is being a lame ass smart mark (or, indeed, introduce him as a mark and let him discover the truth on his own like the rest of us did) and teach him all kinds of other things his mom doesn't want him to know. It's gonna be nifty.

Speaking of being a smart mark...did TNA not know this was going to be their first show? I never thought I'd be wishing for Larry Zybysko back on commentary. We miss you Shiavone. Whatever, it's an alternative weekly show.

Speaking of TV, I have ALF Season 2 on DVD now. Syndicated. I can't find the uncut episodes even on eBay so it'll have to do. I was fully intending on watching it all this weekend but out of knowhere USA ran a CI marathon. It's almost like something somewhere doesn't hate me.

Speaking of things not hating me, I have an interview at a law firm (WHAT?!) to be a network tech on Wednesday. That means two things: 1, NyQuil Tuesday night and b) sexy me in a shirt and tie cam picture on Thursday...ish. You guys are gonna pray for me right?

To recap: Uncle bd watches too much TV and is still unemployed but we're hoping that changes.

Time to kill CuJo to cease his noise and go to bread.