December 2003

GAH!! -- Posted by OtterVomit on Monday, December 29 2003

so you havent putm y last few e=mails up on your page why not are you to scared to let everyone know that the RANGER$$$$$$ SUCK???????/ DEVILS RULEE FUCKER!!!!!! *sigh* ANYWAY.... Oh so I hear Psychopathic Records is falling apart. Or well, Twiztid and Blaze are bolting at least. How unfortunate. What I want to know is how they held together this long? WHY DOES THIS WEBPAGE EXIST??? A few weeks ago I got to thinking "Why the fuck do I even have a webpage? Goddamnit I hate blogs. I don't want a blog page. I want something cool that people may actually give a damn about! ARGH!!!" So I thought I may just give the page to Balcony and retire from webmastering. Then I thought "No, fuck that. Fuck that idea in it's stupid ass." Oh I can hear it now. "Go back to MackandMenthol!" (btw about a month ago or so I finally deleted the last remaining data from that whole era: except for a picture of Kuntagous' breasts). Of course, an attempt to revive that page went about as well as the latest Mars probe disaster. Me and Menthol simply didn't click like we used to, or at least people just didn't give a damn anymore. My attitude had also undergone a massive change since the Gathering II and 9/11 (I'm not cool anymore). "So......update about your madness!!" Well, it isn't a fun kind of madness. It's very depressing, and very boring. Do you honestly want to come here and see a bunch of dark raven graphics with me speaking like Black Thongar?? That's what it would be like. That character wasn't totally gimmicked (well, the homosexual side was). Hmmm I went a little too kayfabe there I think. Anyway the point is that my insanity is not entertaining. So one must examine all these things. Look at the situation. The creator feels compelled to create. To please the viewers. Please examine this carefully. And now examine this carefully: FUCK PLEASING THE VIEWERS!! GODDAMNIT I'M JUST GOING TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT THAT'S TOO FUCKING BAD!! IF I WRITE UP AN INTERVIEW WITH BEA ARTHUR AND YOU SAY "MAN THAT WAS WEAK" THEN YOU CAN KNEEL DOWN AND CHOKE ON MY MAN-MEAT! GODDAMNIT I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE FUCK YOU PEOPLE ATOUAGOIUPASADSFL,,MNM ILL FUCKING PUT UP A WHITE PAGE WITH THE WORDS "JOE MAMMA IS MY CUM DUMPSTER" AND IF YOU THINK THATS WACK THEN ILL HAVE A KUNG FU SHOWDOWN WITH YOU AND ILL SHOW YOU MY NUNCHUKU MANTIS SKILLS!!!!! I'LL FUCKING BASH YOUR GODDAMN SKULL IN UNTIL YOUR FORHEAD FEELS LIKE A FLOUNDER!!! DONT EVEN FUCKING ASK ME WHAT IT MEANS BITCH CUZ I DON'T KNOW EITHER!!!! IM SICK OF THIS BULLSHIT!!!! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT YOUR LUCKY I EVEN TAKE THE TIME TO SPELL OUT WORDS ANYMORE!!!! I MAY BE BUDDHIST NOW BUT DEEP INSIDE I STILL WANT TO SEE SPINES CRUSHED AND KNEES SHATTERED!!!! I GOT NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE ITS ALL DONE BEEN FLUSHED DOWN THE DRAIN FOR ME!!!!! I'M GONNA BUY A GODDAMN CHAINSAW!@!!!!!!!! I NOT EVEN GIVE A SHIT ABOUT GRAMMAR NOMORE SO GO CHEW ON THAT CLETUS!!! FUCK THIS!!! AND FUCK YOU!!!!!!

It's ok when the good guy cheats. -- Posted by Balcony on Friday, December 26 2003

Wellity wellity wellity, Vomito seems to have Kill Billed up the page, which is something I really don't have a problem with. Damned if that movie doesn't rule. I don't know if he's done or adding more stuff but either way, thumbs way up to the insane man from Tennessee. And speaking of that Tennessee nerdy bastard, I saw this and thought of you guy, have fun looking up more on it. This whole update will be rambling babbling live journal crap, you know the drill. Skim it, don't read it all as that can't possibly be good for you. To start with I owe some people an apology. I told them I would update this here site last weekend and didn't bother, but I have an excuse. See I had my knee scoped on Friday and the son of a bitch swelled almost triple its normal size by Saturday morning. It was hard enough to get up and take a piss let alone come and think enough cohesive thoughts to fill an update. As of now the pain is subsiding (after it became a monster Monday night, bad enough that the doc insisted I get rushed into the hospital to check for blood clots) and the swelling is almost gone, the pain is manageable and I'm back to my normal boring life. Fun fun fun eh? Oh...yeah...and it's Xmas. I told you all I did a good job with my shopping this year and judging by reactions, I was right. As for my haul I pulled in some good shit this year. I got my Kids In The Hall boxed set, a whole stack of books, a sexy sexy GoGo Yubari poster, some games and a bunch of random small things (house slippers I badly needed, etcetera) and cash enough to keep me in Wendys and McDonalds until I'm just big enough to sue them. At least I had a better Xmas than the Jew. He should stick to celebrating chanukah. In other news, I suck. I've yet to watch an entire hockey game this season and because of it my geocities/yahoo/whatever fantasy team is suffering massivley. I've dropped them into a hole so deep Peyton Manning and Marvin Harrison couldn't pull them out of it with 4 minutes left. Tomorrow I'll probably end up dropping half my team and trading the other half in an attempt to pull them at least out of the basement. It's hard to play when the people who actually remind you to play aren't damn around enough! This is everyones fault but mine! I'm off school until the 5th, no therapy until the 6th, a whole week to sit on my ass, play with my xbox, play with my gamecube, play with my playstation, and play with myself. Meaning I have no excuse at all not to update next week. Run for the hills boys and girls, run for the hills. Man, looking for that GoGo poster I found two more posters I need to buy. Good thing I got Xmas cash yes?

This is the part where we ignore Vomit -- Posted by Balcony on Thursday, December 25 2003

Merry Christmas

-- Posted by OtterVomit on Saturday, December 20 2003

PRESENTING THE KEYBOARDCONSPIRACY "CHRISTMAS SHOULD DIE AND GO TO HELL" HOLIDAY CAROLERS!! SCROOGE THE GRINCH THE MELTED AND BITTER REMAINS OF FROSTY THE SNOWMAN MISFIT TOY "CHARLIE IN A BOX" PAGANS WHOSE HOLIDAY WAS HIGHJACKED AND OF COURSE... OTTERVOMIT

My god...it's full of stars... -- Posted by Balcony on Wednesday, December 17 2003

I have a reason to live once again! Penn & Teller Bullshit has been renewed for a second season! Not only that...but a season one DVD release has been scheduled for the first quarter of 2004. Production on 13 new half-hour episodes begins this month with the second season premiere slated to air in the spring of 2004, following the DVD release of season one during the first quarter of 2004. There is a god and his name is Jillette!

Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over. -- Posted by Balcony on Wednesday, December 17 2003

I've been meaning to update since Turkey day and have had nothing to update about at all. Now don't go thinking that's changed or anything, now I'm just bored. In all truth I should probably be reading some chapters in some text book but we all know that ain't happenin'. Instead I'm gonna sit here until I get a few paragraphs of nonsense that 3 people will read and none will care about on this here thing. Soo...first things first I guess... Jew-cifer! Everyones favourite christ killer is back on the internet with a triumphant new (2 weeks old?) site, only now he's teamed up with everyones favourite skater and the scene-ist guy I know of to make one super site known as Lineface Vs. No Game. I wonder if they got as far as a fist fight on who would get top billing. Sadly everyone who is reading this already knows that Lineface Vs. No Game, or as I like to call it 'that site that updates 100 times more often than this one', exists as like I said I'm weeks late on making this update, so lets us move on. Ya did good pig Speaking of christ, I did good with my Xmas shopping this year, and in turn shall recieve the Kids In The Hall Box Set I want oh so much. Are we jealous yet? I just did massive DVD moving so I could fit it on my shelf. Lovely. I'm also close to needing a new book to hold all my stolen goods. Foos-ball! The Colts are winning the superbowl this year folks! Mark my words! Also Walter Peyton will resurrect, call The Fridge, Richard Dent, Dick Butkus and Jim McMahon out of retirement and they will lead the Bears to a Super Bowl win! MARK MY WORDS! And with that, I admit to having nothing and shall now slink off to play Knights Of The Old Republic until my eyes bleed.

Bah Humbug -- Posted by OtterVomit on Friday, December 5 2003

COMPLETE CREATIVE BANKRUPTCY It has swept through Hollywood and it has reached me. For all my years of dreaming and imagining, the last several have been almost entirely without fruits. The once effortless task of coming up with new and exciting things has left me. I sit, day after day, and try to exercise my brain as if it were a muscle to come up with something that could compare to a certain former website I was adored for, and I come up with nothing. Once a lush garden of ideas, my mind is now a wasteland as barren as any desert you will find. Ho Hum, so I sit and continue to try, as this useless husk of a website waits and waits for content to deem it worthy of something other than just another blog. I wait, read, concentrate and try to recapture the right frame of mind. Occasionally I will hit upon something but it quickly escapes, never to be thought again. While I remain a competant -at best- writer, there are no fantasies or imaginatories to be written about. And so I wait for the gift to return. THE GREATEST FORTUNE EVER TOLD The widow Mrs. Howard T. Cassan came to the circus in her flimsy brown dress and her low shoes and went direct to the fortuneteller's tent. She paid her mite and sat down to hear of her future. Apollonius warned her she was going to be disappointed. "Not if you tell me the truth," said Mrs. Cassan. "I particularly want to know how soon oil is going to be found on that twenty acres of mine in New Mexico." "Never," said the seer. "Very well. What sort of man will next come into my life?" "There will be no more men in your life," said the seer. "Well, what in the world is the use of my living then, if I'm not going to be rich, not going to be married again, not going to know any more men?" "I don't know," confessed the prophet. "I only read futures. I don't evaluate them." "Well I paid you. Read my future." "Tomorrow will be like today, and day after tomorrow will be like the day before yesterday," said Apollonius. "I see your remaining days each as quiet, tedious collection of hours. You will not travel anywhere. You will think no new thoughts. You will experience no new passions. Older you will become but not wiser. Stiffer but not more dignified. Childless you are now, and childless you shall remain. Of that suppleness you once commanded in your youth, of that strange simplicity which once attracted a few men to you, neither endures, nor shall you recapture any of them any more. People will talk to you and visit with you out of sentiment or pity, not because you have anything to offer them. Have you ever seen an old cornstalk turning brown, dying, but refusing to fall over, upon which stray birds alight now and then, hardly remarking what it is they perch on? That is you. I cannot fathom your place in life's economy. A living thing should either create or destroy according to its capacity and caprice, but you, you do neither. You only live on dreaming of the nice things you would like to have happen to you but which never happen; and you wonder vaguely why the young lives about you which you occasionally chide for a fancied impropriety never listen to you and seem to flee at your appraoch. When you die you will be buried and forgotten, and that is all. The morticians will enclose you in a worm proof casket, thus sealing even unto eternity the clay of your uselessness. And for all the good or evil, creation or destruction, that your living might have accomplished, you might just as well never have lived at all. I cannot see the purpose in such a life. I can see in it only vulgar, shocking waste." "Now you dream of an oil well to be found on twenty acres of land you own in New Mexico. There is no oil there. You dream of some tall, dark and handsome man to come wooing you. There is no man coming, dark, tall, or otherwise. And yet you will dream on in spite of all I tell you; dream on through your little round of hours, sewing and rocking and gossiping and dreaming; and the world spins and spins and spins. Children are born, grow up, accomplish, sicken, and die; you sit and rock and sew and gossip and live on. And you have a voice in the government, and enough people voting the same way you vote could change the face of the world. There is something terrible in that thought. But your individual opinion on any subject in the world is absolutley worthless. No, I cannot fathom the reason for your existence."