Can someone explain to me why people have a need to sing along to the radio? Do you really think people want to hear that? It's one thing to do it when you're alone in your car, or whatever, but when you're around other people it's quiet time.
I went to breakfast this morning and not only did I have to listen to family do it off and on for the entire ride, but then the waitress and one of the bus boys.
This is why I don't get along well with the outside world.
| Mankind continues to improve! -- Posted by OtterVomit on Thursday, April 26 2007 | ||||||||
"Every artist has their muse. Leonardo was inspired by the ceiling in the great chapel. Michelangelo found his art in the Italian marble. Who am I to stand in the way of all these fine artists and artisans who want to use my lumpy, aging face for inspiration? -The Shat With these words spoken, mankind will now embark upon its greatest creative effort since religion was invented. William Shatner's amazing album "Has Been" has already inspired a documentary, a ballet, and has its lyrics analyzed by college professors to teach students about social issues. Now it will once again show its cultural relevance by inspiring an art exhibit featuring 76 talented illustrators and artists who represent the entire Shatner experience on canvas and other palettes. The show will melt the brains of all who see it from June 15, 2007 to the end of August at the Uppercase Gallery. All 76 art works will be on display at the gallery or online, and will be available for sale with a 128 page hardcover book. The book features full color presentations of all the Shatner images, Shatner quotes, and artist commentary. What may be the crowning jewel of the exhibit is the 9,000 LEGOs that make up a Shatner bust by Sean Kenney. 180 hours of work went into this unique Shatner art which no doubt will one day be displayed in the Louvre. Learn more at TheShatnerShow.com! 
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| -- Posted by OtterVomit on Wednesday, April 25 2007 | ||||||
Why are there no torrents for Mr. Belvedere? Not even a single season or episode. What is this shit people? WHAT IS THIS??? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS??????? 
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| Calling someone 'a cunt' is generally considered very offensive. -- Posted by BalconyDive on Wednesday, April 25 2007 | ||||
Doctors are cunts. MDs, mind you, not PHDs, though a number of them too. I'm not sure if it's a requirement to get in to med school, or if in med school there's a class on it, or what, but nonetheless doctors are cunts. Today was another shitty day where I met another cunty doctor. She told me that, according to the XRays, there's really nothing wrong with me. Nothing to cause the pain anyway, so I guess I'm fine. Those days when I'm in near tears and the ones where I can hardly walk the length of the hallway are nothing, I guess. Since she had nothing better to offer me, she wants to have me go get a "bone scan" and maybe see a geneticist. Why? I honestly don't know. She also has the brilliant idea to remove one of my rods, even though it's not causing a problem. So that's nice. Cunts. All doctors are cunts.
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| -- Posted by OtterVomit on Thursday, April 19 2007 | ||
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| Michael Larson, Pressing His Luck the Smart Way -- Posted by OtterVomit on Sunday, April 8 2007 |
 Any child of the 80's will remember the amusing little game show titled Press Your Luck, which was distinguished by its big flashing board to the left and contestants mindlessly rambling "COME ON BIG MONEY! BIG MONEY! STOP!" at which point they would slam a button, the board stopped flashing and they either won money and prizes or were completely bankrupted by the dreaded WHAMMY, which would then dance around on the screen and taunt said contestant. Truly, they were Gods who conceived this game, but even Gods can be conned as it turned out. Meet Michael Larson from Ohio. Actually Larson was probably the kind of guy you didn't want to meet. He was unemployed (aside from driving an ice cream truck in the summer), broke, always working on a new scheme to get rich quick and by all accounts a generally shady individual. However, he was intelligent and he was about to demonstrate to the world how successful you can be if you only pay attention.  Larson recorded episode after episode of Press Your Luck ever since it premiered, but not for the usual reasons. Larson spent weeks studying the way the Big Board operated and changed. Eventually Larson came to the conclusion that the swift, seemingly random flashing lights that bounced around the Press Your Luck board were hardly random at all. In fact he discovered that there were only six patterns. Further study revealed that with a little patience, one could stop the board on any tile he wished. He also figured out that there were certain squares that never flashed a Whammy!And thus his con began. Armed with this knowledge, a suit he paid 50 cents for from a Goodwill, and money borrowed for airfare to Los Angeles, Larson flew to California and tried out for the show. Initially producers were cautious of Larson. Some were suspicious of his reasons for trying out since he was unemployed and had seemingly bankrupted himself to tryout for just this one show, a show which traditionally did not pay out that well. The final decision was to let Larson on the show, a decision that was motivated more by a sense of pity than anything else. So Michael was booked for the show, for the fifth taping of the day, intended as a Friday episode. The head contestant coordinator protested that something was "off" about Larson, but the executive producer overruled this complaint. On May 19, 1984 Larson made his way onto Press Your Luck.  Larson had practiced at home on ways in theory to stop the board where he wanted, but had no way to actually practice this in real life except while playing the actual game. Larson stumbled right out of the gate. He went along with the usual annoying chatter the producers encouraged, blabbing out "COME ON BIG MONEY....STOP" and promptly hit a Whammy on his first spin. Unlike most contestants though who were disheveled at such an event, Larson smirked. He knew it was only a matter of time before he got the hang of things. With Larson's remaining two spins he nailed the top amount, $1250. He had the system down. His $2500 total, however, had him in last place, and the producers were none the wiser.Larson earned seven spins in the second question round, which was more than enough for him to devastate the game. There was something special about the second round Bib Board: It contained spaces where you won a cash prize plus another spin. Michael knew he could concentrate on two specific spaces and conceivably play forever: One space alternated between $500 + Spin, $750 + Spin, and $1000 + Spin. The other was the "Big Bucks" square, which alternated between $3000 + Spin, $4000 + Spin, and $5000 + Spin.  When it came time to play the board, Larson was given the first chance to spin. His demeanor quickly changed at this point. He was dead silent while the board was running and had a look of intense concentration. He immediately celebrated after many of his spins, instead of waiting the fraction of a second that it would normally take for a player to see and respond to the space he or she had stopped on. He knew immediately if he had hit the right square or not! All of these habits were extremely unusual for a Press Your Luck contestant. Larson quickly racked up 10,000 and kept winning more spins. Things first seemed awry when Larson passed the $25,000 mark and continued to play. At this point, any sane player would have passed their spins if they could, since the odds of hitting a Whammy after not seeing one for that long would be high. But Larson played on and on, and by the time he passed $30,000, the show's host, Peter Tomarken, seemed incredulous that he was still spinning. The crowd was whipped into a frenzy.Larson was actually still getting the hang of his technique. Four of his first eleven spins actually landed on squares he was not aiming for, but he managed to avoid the Whammy each of these times. Then his play became deadly accurate. A player stopping the Press Your Luck board randomly would expect to hit a Whammy approximately once in each six spins. By contrast, in this second round alone, Larson took over forty spins without a Whammy. On thirty consecutive spins, his pattern play was perfect, and he consistently landed on the two "safe spots" that always awarded money and a spin. Peter Tomarken and the other contestants were increasingly amazed -and annoyed- as Larson pressed on and on, never coming near a Whammy, never even using up one of his spins. Larson spun on and on, methodically passing the $40,000, $50,000 and $60,000 marks. Tomarken grew stunned and almost in shock as he watched Larson rack up more money in one sitting than anyone had ever done in a five show run. Backstage, producers were frantic. Phone calls were being made to the top brass at CBS. It was clear that Larson had a trick of some sort, but what was it and could they deny him his ridiculous earnings? In the meantime, Larson passed the $70,000, $80,000, $90,000 and finally the $100,000 marks. He raised his arms in triumph and the audience went wild. He then, finally passed his spins. His annoyed opponent was given the daunting task of trying to catch up over $97,000 in four spins. A Whammy ultimately ended his turn. The other contestant was a bit smarter. She realized her only chance at winning was to pass her spins to Larson and hope that he would Whammy. Larson was annoyed at this as he now HAD to spin 3 more times and he was experiencing mental fatigue from the intense concentration required to hit the correct squares. He got through it, although he botched his final spin and nearly hit a Whammy. He then passed the 2 spins he had won. The resulting 2 spins ended the game and Larson had a final total of $110,237. After the show, the producers were FURIOUS. CBS lawyers tried to prove that he had cheated, but they failed. Larson won the argument, saying that what he had done was no different than if he had "cracked the books to get on Jeopardy." When he threatened a lawsuit of his own, CBS finally gave in and awarded him his money. Because he had surpassed the CBS winnings cap of $25,000, he was not allowed to return for the next show. The Big Board was promptly reprogrammed to produce a truly random sequence. Larson's game was split into two episodes due to its exceptional running time, and these only aired once during the original run of the series, on June 8 and 11, 1984. The ratings for these episodes were nearly double that of a normal Press Your Luck airing. CBS then suppressed them for 19 years as CBS considered the episode at the time one of their worst embarrassments. While USA Cable did receive the entire 3-year run to be rerun, they were forbidden from airing these episodes, so only people who were smart enough to tape way back in 1984 were lucky enough to keep them. Eventually condensed versions of Larson's run were shown on several TV specials. Sadly, Larson went on to squander all his winnings in get rich quick schemes in just under 2 years after his amazing feat. Part of his winnings went to taxes, part of his winnings were invested in real estate in his hometown and the rest was withdrawn from the bank as cash. His real estate deal turned out to be a fraudulent ponzi scheme that cost Larson the money. Larson then took his remaining cash and participated in a "get rich quick" scheme that involved matching a one dollar bill's serial number with a random number read out on a local radio game show that promised a $30,000 jackpot. In a sign of eccentricity and irrationality, Larson withdrew his winnings in one dollar bills in hopes of winning the contest, and upon realizing that he did not have the winning number, would place all the money back in his account and then withdraw it again the next day with a new set of ones to repeat the process all over again. Larson's wife stated that this obsession consumed him. As a result of this scheme, approximately $40,000-50,000 in one dollar bills were stolen from Larson and his wife. Completely broke and with no income, Larson was divorced soon after. He called the producers of Press Your Luck and asked if he could compete in a tournament of champions, but the producers politely declined. Larson died of throat cancer in 1999, in Florida, while on the run from U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission for various scams and schemes.
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