May 2006
Being a CI isn't a get out of jail free card
-- Posted by BalconyDive on Saturday, May 13 2006
A $200+ bill so they can watch him for a day and a half and say "Guess it was just a virus, he should be fine."
Glad it wasn't my dog.
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Six foot, Seven foot, Eight foot, bunch!
-- Posted by BalconyDive on Friday, May 12 2006
Here comes another post about my pets because I have no real life of my own.
Yesterday morning I had two dogs who were running around and being jackasses as per usual. This was a good thing because CuJo, the mini daschund, who had just been neutered had finally been behaving like himself (last Wednesday he got clipped and came home, sat around all day Thursday and most of Friday and was slowly ramping up to his norm after that).
Now yesterday (Wednesday) I was sitting on the floor in the living room throwing a disgusting piece of fabric that used to be a snowman for them to catch and all was well. Later that very afternoon CuJo suddenly just wouldn't do much of anything. In fact he wouldn't even come to the door when it was time to go outside and he loves outside. When I finally did get him outside he wouldn't get up to come back in.
Poor creature. I'm feeling bad for him at this point.
So this morning he's off to the vet, after having to be dragged out the door.
Most of his tests have come back negative, but the bloodwork showed high white cell and low red cell count. Of course this means he has some kind of infection he's trying to fight.
Poor doggy.
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-- Posted by OtterVomit on Monday, May 8 2006
MY UNCLE: ANGER MANAGEMENT CANDIDATE
So one of the running gags in my family (all 4 of us) has been my uncle Paul's inability to control his temper. He'll go to a store, get unsatisfactory service and scream and yell such gems as "IS IT AGAINST YOUR POLICY TO HELP SOMEONE IN A TIMELY MANNER??" and "I'LL RUIN YOU!! YOU JUST WAIT!! YOU'LL HEAR FROM ME AGAIN" and then he storms out never to be heard from again.
And so it came to pass that my father came down from his palace in Indiana to visit me, his humble son. And stemming from this visit was another visit, with the aforementioned uncle Paul. My father demanded that we go see Benchwarmers, and despite my pleas for mercy, we started on our way to see it.
I should mention at this point that the town sinkhole of Louisville, Tennessee has not yet perfected the design of highways where you can both turn right and left at any given intersection. Thus to turn left onto the highway from my place, one must take a detour through the parking lot of the world famous GREEN ACRES FLEA MARKET.
Knowing this, Paul turns into the parking lot and is immediately slowed down by a large truck in front of us. Instantly, his rage meter goes from zero to ENRAGED. "GET OFF THE FUCKING ROAD!! GODDAMNIT!!!" Me and dad did our usual and laughed. The screaming continued "JESUS CHRIST WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE OR SOMETHING ALREADY?!??" Other anger induced diatribes erupted towards the slow moving truck, which we could have easily passed from the start since we were traveling through an empty parking lot. Finally Paul realizes this and begins to pass the truck, still yelling and cussing, when the side of the truck reveals it to be a humanitarian company with the tagline Feeding Hungry Children.
One may think that the revelation of this noble goal might soften the heart of my angry uncle. Alas, this was not the case. Even upon seeing that the truck was on a mission of mercy, Paul was not to be derailed. "GET OFF THE FUCKING ROAD!! YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH FEEDING HUNGRY CHILDREN!! LOOK AT YOU, YOU FAT SLOB! YOU STOLE THAT TRUCK!! GET OFF THE ROAD!! YOU DON'T FEED ANYBODY BUT YOUR DAMNED SELF!! GET OFF THE ROAD!!!!!" At this point me and dad were nearly unconscious with laughter, especially since that entire last diatribe came after we passed the truck and it was just a memory. Paul got in one last shot before moving on to some other concern: "YOUR HUMANITARIAN BULLSHIT IS MAKING ME LATE FOR MY MOVIE!!!"
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That takes guts and optimism
-- Posted by BalconyDive on Thursday, May 4 2006
I think I have Malaria. Or Mono. Or maybe I'm just bored. I haven't been able to do anything for the last two weeks or so, I've been constantly exhausted and confused and often times regular ol' sick. Whatever. Death comes for us all.
CuJo was taken to the vet yesterday (Tuesday) afternoon and brought home today (Wednesday). While he was gone he uh...got Bob Barkered. I feel for the little guy. Ever since he got home he's been unusually quiet. Like...he didn't bark once for five hours. He also wouldn't randomly sit on his hind legs, which he tends to do for no reason now.
Perhaps I'm projecting though. I know I'd be a tad different and modify my behavior some if the people who claimed to love me took me some scary place (even though I slipped my collar, attacked the people there and pissed myself when I realized they were leaving) and did that to me. Hell, I'd probably sit quietly for the rest of forever too. Poor guy.
In more projection, I'm fairly sure Pestilence was mildly depressed all day when he was alone. The cat, however, enjoyed the day off.
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-- Posted by OtterVomit on Wednesday, May 3 2006
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