1.) That Tech Support job called me back, I have to go there Tuesday for some Logic, Apptitude & Personality test. This is the place, not that
2.) I'll be spending all morning at the hospital tomorrow, this time not for me.
3.) My PSP still has not arrived. The games for it has. God is fucking with me. Good one.
4.) This project...it's an ass kicker.
5.) These drugs and that sleep, seem to have been a fluke.
6.) Rescue Me is AWESOME.
Thank you and goodnight.
| Comfort Eagle -- Posted by BalconyDive on Wednesday, June 22 2005 | ||||||||||||||
Like I said, I went to my Pain people and, as always, they messed with my dosages of my pills and prescribed new ones. The kicker though is that, once again, a doctor up and retired on me. This one without even letting me know aheaf of time. Not that she was the exceptionally great, or even kinda good, but it still kinda woulda been nice to know. The new chick, when she walked into the room, I immediatley thought was incredibly hot. I don't know why, but I did. Then when she sat down and began to talk to me I suddenly realized she was aberage at best. I forget her name or I would use it, honest. She was very distracted by the length of her dress and kept trying to pull it down on her legs as she sat even though it was well past her knees. I think she was self concious because she was sitting on the table and I was in the chair so if her skirt actually was short I would have been able to see something. Aaanyway, let's pretend anyone (including mself) cares and state that my new regimine is: Morning: 1 Relafen (500mg) 1 Topamax (50mg) Bed: 1 Remeron at night. (15mg) 2 1 Topamax (100mg) And throughout the day I'm supposed to take 2 Ultram (I don't know the dose, the bottle's not in front of me) every sixish hours to keep the pain low. Now on to explinations. First, you'll have noticed the anti-depressent. Now I'm not new to the game of psychotropics, but I have given up on them as mood changers for me. I did a bunch of them in a bunch of doses for a bunch of weeks and felt no change, thus I submit to you that I am not technically a manic depressive, or at least not one that can be treated medically. No, this one is supposed to help me sleep. And let me tell you, as I type this I can feel that little sum`bitch kickin' in. This is my first night on all the new drugs, so I can't say for sure it's them, but this is also the first night I haven't swallowed 10 Tylenol PMs and felt sleepy before 2AM. The Topamax, anti-convulsant (seizure med) is a trial to see if maybe the pain is nerve related, and if maybe it's random neuron firings causing it. The thinking is this drug will stop those like they stop them in seizure patients in the brain. I've been on the topamax before. It was only at night and also to help me sleep. I could never say for sure if it helped or not, hence the day time trial. The Relafin is the drug I expect the least help from. It's your standard anti-inflammatory. They've just never worked for me. As for the Ultram, that's a strange beast. Half of the time when I take it, it does help kill the pain just as it's supposed to, the other half I get nothing. However, I always, always have a period of severe irratibilty when I'm on it. Like, moreso than usual. The sounds of people voices make me want to kill them in a violent and bloody manner. Because of that and the 50/50 shot at it working I only take it when the pain is being a real bear. Oh man...I'm getting really tired now. Also, today, I sent off resumes to two jobs. One's an internship position, the other a tech support job. No, for real, a tech support job in America. How weird is that? We'll see how badly that ends soon enough. Right now, Reno 911!
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| Bullshit! -- Posted by BalconyDive on Tuesday, June 21 2005 | ||||||||||||
I hate doctors. All of them. If you're reading this, and you're a doctor, I hate you. If you have a doctor in your close family or circle of friends, please next time you see them, slap them right in the face and tell them it's from me. Now, don't get me wrong, I recognize and appreciate the things doctors do. All that disease curing and stuff, it's neat to say the least, but I still hate the lot of them. And with good reason. Every doctor, every single one of them on the face of the planet with absolutley no exceptions, is an utter asshole. I will accept the fact that their air of superiority is usually one that they've earned, 9 some years of school, internships, fellowships, all that stuff you see on Scrubs, I'd feel pretty good about me too. Nonetheless, that crap has limits, and it's with those limits that I personally inevitably clash. The fat lot of cocksuckers that are doctors seem to think they know everything. Everything about everything. And they seem to think that we, the great unwashed non doctors, know nothing. Which results in constant talking down and (unconciously) making everyone around them feel like assholes. And when you attempt to argue with, or even conversate with, them about the matter at hand your opinions are useless and they're just going to talk to you until you're seeing it their way god damn it! Why, yes, I did go see my 'Pain Management Specialist' today. Why do you ask? There was more to this, but I'm hungry, so I'm going away.
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| Black Wings -- Posted by BalconyDive on Thursday, June 16 2005 | ||||||||||
(Warning: Emo shit to follow.) After weeks of thinking about it and talking myself out of it, I went ahead and ordered a (used) PSP from ebgames today. I threw in a copy of Luminees and Twisted Metal with it because I like Twisted Metal and Luminees seems to be the Tetris of the PSP world, if you get my drift. At the same time I ordered, from Wal*Mart (boo, hiss, evil) two external 'brick' batteries and a 512MB memory stick. I'm happy-ish with the purchase, except for the fact that I'm not broker than all damn and will continue to be until...whenever. Sucks. I'd be lying if I said the Liberty City Stories info didn't hasten this decision, but it wasn't the only thing to it. I can't wait for that new Medievil game. Either way, all my bits and parts should oughta be here by this time next week, then it's all good in the hood, bitches! So, in other newsishness, I started school again this week. Got my grades from last quarter (A, A, A, 3.6some cumGPA) and this final quarter already sucks. The books for the first class were not ready, which means we did absoltley nothing. Then, for todays 'capstone' class, wherein we're supposed to take all of our accumulated knowledge and put it together to make a network I was drafted into the role of team leader. God damn it. I knew it was going to happen, mostly because it was the one thing I didn't want to happen. Not that I can't do it, just that I really hate having to be responsible for anyone else but me. If I fuck up on my own stuff, I can accept it, but if I drop the ball and others suffer, I get all angsty with myself. I already feel like enough of a failure for being 23 and being a student at a C grade tech school, it would so suck if somehow we choked no this project. It's gonna be a lot of Tom Waits & Eels, suicidal thoughts and sleeping pills until this damn quarter is over. You have no idea how often I wish I'd not pussed out when I tried that thing I tried. I also wish that god damn chick I used to be able to talk to about stuff was still around. What the hell did I do to her anyway?
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| Make it rain -- Posted by BalconyDive on Monday, June 13 2005 | ||||||||
Damn. Had two weeks off and accomplished nothing at all. I almost feel good about that, but not really. After all the shit I've been talking, I still have no idea what to do for this resume thing so I can get one of those job dealies. I figure come morning I'll just hop over to that about.com page, cut and paste one of those bad boys (probably this'n into MS Word and put my info that I actually have in there, then Speaking of bills, I have decided to stop dragging my feet and sacrifice my credit card at the altar of EBGames and buy a PSP. I can't even explain why I want one so bad. I haven't had this kind of shoplust since the GameBoy Advance came out. That damn thing sat on a shelf collecting dust for a month after I got it, then it wasn't out of my reach for over a year (then I broke it), so...maybe I can come up with a way to justify that massive price tag to myself. I'm good at that. Eh, anyway. I've become obsessed with this completley useless AudioScrobbler thing. It's amazingly pointless and shockingly cool at the same time. It's like one of those stupid "What are you listening to" threads on a message board, but on a grander scale! Join it, friend me, and be cool!
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| -- Posted by OtterVomit on Thursday, June 9 2005 | ||||||
 I'm off to Vegas until Tuesday to attend my father's latest wedding. Everyone pray for one of my planes to slam into a goddamned mountain or something, please.
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| Bleed -- Posted by BalconyDive on Tuesday, June 7 2005 | ||||
Well, well, well. I'm not Joel Gertner, so I got nothing to follow that. I've got...sixish days until I go back to hateing everything...moreso. Then it's just a short three months until I have a worthless piece of paper that says I know things I probably don't. Eh, whatever, feel my ANGST and we'll move on. So, yeah. At home for an entire week and all I did was watch (cancelled) tv shows on DVD. Newsradio, The Job, Home Movies. Invader Zim (homebrew, fuck that official shit), Clerks, Futurama. Sometimes being a nerd can hurt. Sometimes. This isn't one though because I feel fulfilled by my TVshow watching. Screw conventional joy, leave me to my nerdly ways. One week down, less than one to go (I meant to do this yesterday, but didn't because of...stuff) and I still have to do that damn resume thing. I tried, I really did, but for the life of me I got nothing. A buddy, who has nothing to link, threw me this link. I don't *think* I was being mocked, but none the less it was no help. There was this one thing though. I checked the samples to find something to In slightly related...news?...I bought not one but three CDs in the last two days. One by Lovage, which comes with one by Dan The Automator yesterday and just now the new Aquabats. I'm cool for now, but also broke. See how that works? I have to go kill CuJo for barking at the thunder now.
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| Piece Of Dirt -- Posted by BalconyDive on Sunday, June 5 2005 | ||
 Congratulations to Penn Jillette, who at 50 just fathered his first baby girl and named her Moxie CrimeFighter
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| Jaw Gymnastics -- Posted by BalconyDive on Wednesday, June 1 2005 |
Two weeks. That's what I currently have sitting in front of me in what some would call a "Vacation". Personally I call it just another two weeks. Well, technically it's about 12 days (from this writing) before I begin my last quarter of "classes" at "school"...whoa, better ease up on the quotation marks. Anyway, I figure that I can find a day or so in the remaining 12 where I can get together my "resume" with my new GPA which one should hope will be arriving in that time. Although, going on history it won't and I'll probably have to go track it (and my schedule) down on the first day back. Still, I have no idea how I'm going to put together a resume. Especially considering I've never, e-e-e-ever had a job. Add to that the whole "I'm me" thing and the entire idea of finding a job is just about as foreign an idea to me as self respect is to cosplayers. All that aside, bd-day came and went and was nifty. Another suprise gift hit my email inbox by the way of an Amazon gift certificate. I still haven't spent it, but I think I'm closing in on what I will be spending it on. Although I may have to run to Best Buy and grab that without waiting for shipping. I'm weird like that. Either way, I'm now tired and a bit depressed, so it's time to watch the this weeks installment of the weakest season of The Shield and go to bed. Or play City Of Heroes. As Anna Maul. On Pinnacle.
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