September 2004

-- Posted by OtterVomit on Thursday, September 30 2004

WHAT IS THIS "DEBATE" RULE ALL ABOUT? Have you taken a close look at these retarded proposed "debate" rules from the Bush and Kerry camps? We have rules on makeup artists, risers, temperature, pens, paper and coin tosses. We have a rule that says the candidates cannot ask each other for pledges. Wonderful. But what about this rule? "The candidates cannot ask each other direct questions, but can ask rhetorical questions." Sup wid dat? I guess we all know what a direct question is. Something like "Do you wish Saddam Hussein was still in power in Iraq?" Wow! We sure don't want any of that in this glorified press conference, do we? But what is a rhetorical question? The Humanities Department at Brigham Young University defines a rhetorical question as one "any question asked for a purpose other than to obtain the information the question asks." The question "Why are you such a complete, blithering idiot?" would be an example. Do you think you are being served well by these rules? Bush can't ask Kerry "Can you tell us for certain that you won't raise taxes on the middle class?" Kerry can't ask Bush, "So where were you in Vietnam?" This debate has about as much teeth as your grandma. HERE WE GO WITH THIS "FOREIGNERS WANT KERRY" ROUTINE Once again this morning we're hearing that a poll of people in 35 nations (mostly European) want to see George Bush voted out of office in November. Fine & Fuck 'em. The only way Euro-weenies get to vote in our election is if they come here as illegal aliens and register. Works almost every time. There is much more to this story. There was another poll of these grand Europeans. In that poll 58% of them said that they wanted to see the role of the United States weakened in international affairs. That word, again, was "weakened." Using the evil of logic here, can we assume that these Europeans want Kerry to be our next president because they believe that he will best serve their interests in seeing the United States weakened in international affairs? CBS DOES IT AGAIN You would think that with all of the heat CBS is getting over their bogus forged-documents story, they would have the sense to not do it again. You would be wrong. Unbelievably, CBS News is once again serving their masters at the Democratic Party in a very obvious way. Here's the latest. CBS ran a story about the possibility of the draft returning. The only problem? There is zero chance of the draft returning. The only people that have brought it up are Democrats who are trying to invent a mythical issue to bash President Bush with. Anyone who says the draft might return is lying. There will be no return of the draft. The administration, the Pentagon...all have said it clearly: no draft. So, since they sensed an opportunity to spread a lie in order to defeat the president, CBS and Dan Rather decided to report on "draft fears," and profiled an extremely ignorant woman who said she was worried about the draft. In their report, CBS reporter Richard Schlesinger used discredited hoax e-mails that are circulating around the Internet. Also, the supposedly concerned mother is actually the head of an interest group called People Against the Draft. It turns out this group has leftist Democratic ties. Surprised? Me neither. CBS = Conservative Bashing Station.

He's on stage with Joey & DeeDee again -- Posted by BalconyDive on Thursday, September 16 2004

Johnny Ramone 1948-2004 All Good Cretins Go To Heaven

-- Posted by OtterVomit on Thursday, September 9 2004

MY BOSS IS FUCKING INSANE Yes you read that correctly. And coming from me that's quite a statement. This mad waved bye-bye to linear thought long ago. First off, his business is a fucking dive. It looks like some bombed out civil war building that nobody bothered to upgrade to the modern era, aside from the shoddy wiring that is constantly flinging sparks at us, and causing the lights to flicker at various levels of brightness. Our air conditioning seems to be a mish-mash of several different systems combined into one, and when it is finished running for some reason water leaks down from the ceiling and drips everywhere, sometimes onto the wonderful electrical wiring which causes a huge explosion and we all die. The infestation of bugs and rodents don't seem to mind, though. Anyway, the boss. We'll call him Jan. Mainly, becuse that's his name. Jan Fay. I deduce he went insane because both his first and last names are girls names. But alas, he is indeed looney tunes. I noticed this about my third or fourth day there as I was sitting at my desk enjoying the peaceful day when suddenly I hear "WHO THE HELL IS THIS????" blast out of his office. I went on to here "WELL GO CONSUME SOME GODDAMN PLACE ELSE!!" Then he slammed the phone down and went back to silence. A few minutes later, Wanda, the sweet old office lady, starts inching towards his office to tell him he has a call. Apparently the person he was talking to has called back! He says "It that some woman?? TELL HER TO GO SCREW HERSELF!!!" Then he got up and started mumbling, and finally revealed the contents of this conversation. "Tell me it looks nasty in here....I like it here....I think its nice..." he said as power sockets exploded and walls fell down around him. Apparently the lady had called to complain that our place was filthy (truth) and didn't want to give her name so she said "I'm a consumer" to which you can guess the response. 4 or 5 other episodes of similar zaniness have happened since then. The fact that a business can be ran while telling your customers to eat shit and go fuck themselves regularly is still amazing me. Today he was informed that an old friend in the same business was selling to one of his enemies (seriously, that's how it was said "One of my enemies!!") so he called the guy up and I heard these snippets "WELL GODDAMNIT I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMARTER THAN THAT," "YOU JUST DO WHATEVER YOU GODDAMN WANT YOU SON OF A BITCH," "WELL FUCK YOU FIRST," Then about 5 hours later this guy called back apparently trying to apologize and make things right with Jan. Jan was entertaining business clients at the time but took the call anyway. Snippets I heard from that convo go as follows: "YOU DON'T NEED TO APOLOGIZE, THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY AND YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT AND SO CAN I, AND I SAY GODDAMN YOU," "WELL I THOUGHT OUR BEST DAYS WERE AHEAD OF US BUT I GUESS THAT AIN'T THE CASE," "YOU LISTEN YOU SON OF A BITCH I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY AND I HAVE CLIENTS HERE SO FUCK YOU!! *click*" I N S A N I T Y